Alright, this is an article from the German music magazine Intro, #180 from March 2010, called “Bodycheck with Gorillaz”. 

I know, it’s pretty old and there have already been lots of mails and stuff expressing the fans’ anger about it, but though, I want to share it.

There are six really insulting texts, I’ve tried to translate them as good as I could:

1. Where the hell is the necklace with the inverted cross which Murdoc wore for years as a Satanist? And why is he wearing such a yukky (I’m sorry, but I have no idea how to translate that, it’s something about Berlin Friedrichshain, idk)-style?! We’ve seen him better looking in many music videos, bare chested, quite muscular and with some old man’s chest hair. Too bad…

2. It’s not really clear if Murdoc was even born as a normal human being, but if he was, then they’ve cut his umbilical cord with a rusty saw when he came into this world in the British chev-town Stroke-On-Trent. Well, he’s in good company there: guys like Robbie Williams, Slash and Lemmy have their roots there as well.

3. You can see it good in this picture: Mr. Niccals has real bar-fighter-hands. Clenched as fists, they’re just as big as his thighs! If that comes from playing bass? By the way, Murdoc plays a Flying V bass by Gibson (nicknamed “El Diabolo”), there are only 375 in the world! One of them is in possession of a certain Damon Albarn, who got a little fame as a britpop-sissy a few years ago.

4. What would judge H.P. Baxxter (German techno musician, “Scooter”) say about that face if Murdoc would appear on ViVA’s (German music channel) “Are U Hot?”? He probably wouldn’t give him 10 points, but definitely some respect! For a good reason! Since the Gorillaz-mastermind’s first appearance on screen, he has aged distinctly: His teeth got greener and less, his nose looks like a complete balls-up and his hair became grey - if it’s not dyed blue temporarily - which is, to be honest, absolutely ridiculous for a 44-year-old.”
[They tried to be funny with a joke in the last sentence, the German word that I translated as “ridiculous” is “albern” and they wrote “albarn” instead.]

5. According to some Gossip Magazines, Murdoc has a couple of tattoos, among others, the word “Helios” [greek sun god] on his lower back with an arrow pointing at his arse crack. That’s probably… British humour.

6.However, those little-boy-shoes with untied shoelaces are almost cute. Doesn’t fit his image at all, does it? Murdoc’s sister (if you can call her like that) Tank Girl had some beast army-boots at least.

Well guys, that’s it. Pretty horrible isn’t it?

I mean, insulting Murdoc is one thing, but that’s not even Murdoc in the damn picture!

I just… I had to, sorry.